Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
