Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
