If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
