it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
