i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
