Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
