I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
