I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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