WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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