Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
