On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize