look no pants
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
