so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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