Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
