Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
