brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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