used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
