i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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