he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Mom said you looked used
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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