Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
