i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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