its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize