the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
