I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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