...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
