I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
