Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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