He is an equal opportunity slut.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
