i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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