It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
