Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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