we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
