i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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