I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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