My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
