he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
