pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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