hell yes lets make some ravioli
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
