Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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