What did we do last night that was yellow?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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