He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
