I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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