spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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