it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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