Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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