Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
