Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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