Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
