It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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