I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
