Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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