I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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