how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
