Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize