this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
