Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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