he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
