ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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