Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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