I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
