After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
